I Am Hanging On

I am still here. Not that I want to be. You know, I must be kidding myself. If I did not want to be here I would not. My therapist pointed out that my suicide would be an act of violent angry. Therefore her question was; why are you angry with your family and friends and others who are connected to you. I said, I am not angry with them I am angry at the pain and guilt that fills my every day. At the end of the session I finally understood that my suicide would scar family and friends for life. They also would have a life full with guilt. I do not want that. So I am here. However, I am miserable.